discoverthenetwork.org–the greatest web application in the history of the intertubes.

I have a new ambition in life. I want to be featured on DiscoverTheNetworks.org’s web application, which proves with the strongest proof allowed in Law, adjacent images, that Katie Couric is a vicious terrorist intent on destroying America.

Here’s how it works:

1. Open the application.
2. Type “Couric” in the search box and hit Enter.
3. You’ll see all the terrorism-related outfits, including the Columbia Broadcasting Company (CBS), linked to her with scary straight lines. Follow the line to CBS and click its icon.
4. CBS is affiliated with the Columbia School of Journalism. Click it.
5. The Columbia School of Journalism is linked to Nihad Awad of the Council of American-Islamic Relations (CAIR). Click him.
6. As the line linking Awad to Hamas clearly illustrates, Nihad Awad is a Hamas operative.

Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself:

Figure 1: Nihad Awad

These people are the real deal. Their logic is unassailable. And there’s no reason to think either the project or its financial and ideological backers, including head smearguru David Horowitz, are batsh*t insane. And as they have proven with devastating lines drawn right there on your computer screen, Katie Couric hates America and is working closely with Hamas operatives CAIR and CBS to destroy it. The more you know, heh indeed!

Personally, I’m going to do everything in my power to get my name listed there. I’ve got my heart set on one of those free tickets to Cuba. Katie, if we’re on the same flight together, I want to sit next to you.

oh no he didn’t!

Young M Junaid Levesque-Alam of Crossing the Crescent got some ’splainin to do. He’s impugned my good lady, everyone’s favorite Muslim Refusenik, Sister Irshad Manji, and I for one ain’t taking this lying down.

First, he hates on her book simply because she sells Muslims and Islam down the river–as if the brother doesn’t realise that that’s what ijtihad (or, rather, its Manji-branded variant Project Ijtihad©) is all about. And so what if torture enthusiast Alan Dershowitz loves her, almost as much as he loves waterboarding and pushing needles under people’s fingernails? Don’t blame that on Irshad–Alan’s a man who knows what he likes, even if the rest of us find that repugnant.

Anyway, Junaid moves on to Sister Irshad’s firm denunciation of radical terrorist Mazen Asbahi’s sabotage of America/resignation from the Obama campaign. Says the brother:

In a Huffington Post piece, she demonstrates no concern about the vilification enabled Asbahi’s dismissal. Indeed, she fails to mention it even once. Is this because Manji is too busy contributing to the problem to pause and reflect? Or is it because this would upset her core base – the neoconservatives who mount these smear campaigns?

Whatever the case, Manji performs her predictable pre-programmed attack routine, observing contemptuously, “…Mazen Asbahi has just resigned. I can’t say I’m disheartened. He’d been embraced by groups like the Muslim Public Affairs Council and the Islamic Society of North America, renowned for their conservative politics and ‘moderate’ double-speak.”

And what’s wrong with that? MPAC and ISNA are big, scary words, meant to inspire fear and loathing whenever you see them on your screen. I’m surprised and a little disappointed she didn’t insert “Muslim Brotherhood-affiliated” to turn up the heat a little, but she probably had to watch her word count. And, you see, “Moderate Muslim” is defined by Irshad (and Daniel “Crack” Pipes, and Alan Dershowitz, and the rest of the neocon clown college under whose praise Sister Irshad has perfected that celebrity tan) as a Muslim who doesn’t have an interest in the so-called “Palestinian” “people,” or any other of the political, social, economic, and environmental concerns the vast majority of Muslims share. This means, of course, that she’s absolutely right to question their “moderate” credentials–and yours, and mine. When you make up the rules yourself, you get to decide who plays the game.

If Sister Irshad says ISNA and MPAC, and Mazen Asbahi, and CAIR, and the entire mainstream Sunni and Shi’a establishments, are the new focus of our daily Ten Minutes Hate, I ask you brother, who are we to question her?

shorter schlussel

Sleeping with the Enemy: Those Jewish Microloans in New Orleans:

Figure 1: Babe-raham Lincoln?

• When will we Jews ever learn not to give anything to the damn schwartzes? Can’t we see that all these blackity-black negroes are just a bunch of racists??

time to move to the kootenays

My new BFF, Flaming Fat Cur, reached out and touched me in a poignant comment, electrifying me with scary words like pseudo-leftist and Cairo. Entranced, I couldn’t help but traverse the tubes and pop on in to see what’s what on the wingnutty side of the internets. And looky here, it’s an alarmist countdown to Armageddon called “How Is Our Civilization Headed For Defeat”! Oh brave keyboard soldier, can’t you semper fi enough strength and conviction to persist in the battle ‘gainst the swarthy hordes, slavering on our scimitars? Has it come down to this? The vast Western civilization brought to its knees, because Random House excercised its hideous freedom not to publish a book it didn’t want to publish?

I believe this person. There is no sense holding on for nothing–in mere weeks, nay minutes or even seconds, the pseudoleftislamocommiefascist LIEberals will break down our doors and with their scimitars held to our naked flesh will force us to eat halal hamburgers. It’s lost. Move to the Kootenays, fighting keyboardists! There, we’ll meet again, to grow long beards, obtain firearms, and wait out the coming Apocaplyse. And, of course, to continue the fight underground, our laptops as our swords, our mustard-stained Stanfield vests our armour. Semper fi, fighting keyboardists, and Godspeed!

the hopes and dreams of simpletons…

So I’m looking out for coverage of last weekend’s Islamophobia conference at Masjid as-Salaam in Burnaby, and I find this wee summary. Not a bad, if loaded, summary, focussing mostly on why a guy like Greg Felton would’ve been there, which is a good question because he certainly wasn’t on any of the promotional material and didn’t really seem like he wanted to be there anyway, although I left before salaat so I didn’t hear him talk. So anyways, I’m peeking through the comments and all of a sudden I’m drowning in epic fail. Check it:

But does a self-professed peace activist like O’keefe understand how he is a “useful idiot” for murderers? Do they understand that a renewed Caliphate and the kind of economy and science it would support would have to entail first a mass die off and a return to some kind of medieval order? O’Keefe must have some inkling. But what about the 150 ordinary mosque members who just showed up for a talk on “Islamophobia”? Are these people, our neighbors, best considered an “enemy”?

This from a BC hack called truepeers. He goes on to say he’s not quite there yet to call me his enemy–for which I’m eternally grateful, because I’ve no idea what I’d do if he did.

And then, from an apparently unemployed schoolteacher named Dag:

I understand that it’s probably more difficult and even physically dangerous for Muslims to stand publicly against the likes of Elmasry, given the nature of Islam, given the nature of jihad, so I won’t claim all “moderate” Muslims should stand against him and his likes in public. But I do stand and cheer for those among our friends who will take the risk of physical violence or even death to do what can be done to stand up against jihad and Left dhimmi fascism. Maybe, if enough of us stand firm in public, some day Muslims will find the same courage. There is hope.

Brave, dim Dag–keep cheering, dear brother, for those people intrepid enough (apparently more intrepid than you) who suffer themselves unto the swarthy hordes to stand up to dangerous BadMen like Mohamed Elmasry. Fight on, keyboard soldiers, fight on!

bonus irshad

So I’m getting my weekly Irshad Manji fix, hoping against hope that her latest post will contain at least some insight into the latest FAILgate, The Jewel of Medina’s failure to get to print. And I’m not disappointed:

I promised you the link to my commentary about the novel that Random House New York has cancelled out of sheer fear.

SHEER FEAR!! It’s like, Random House started to print the book, and then everyone crapped their pants and were all “OMG!!11! ALL THE MOOOZLIMS GONNA GO ‘SPLODEY UP IN HERE!”

I digress. Through the magic of the interwebs, a single click and we’re immersed in Irshad’s alternate universe:

In this season of political conventions, Americans are beginning to focus on who should lead the “land of the free and home of the brave.” But does the United States deserve a descriptor drenched in the language of conscience and courage? It’s increasingly dubious.

I want to be honest with you.  I feed a certain degree of affection for Sr. Irshad–it’s true.  I admit a part of me even has a platonic crush on her, although the Almighty knows I ain’t her type.  Nothing haram, mind you, just a general appreciation for what I know is a sharp mind that has massive capabilities and untapped potential.  And it’s with that in mind that I need to say, very clearly now, that that is without a doubt the dumbest paragraph I’ve ever seen her write.  And that’s saying something.

Let’s forget for a second the rest of the article, wherein she seems to forget what would seem to be a pretty important fact–that negative reviews of The Jewel of Medina also focussed on its gross historical inaccuracies and shoddy scholarship, especially given its claim that it is “extensively researched.”  Forgive my lady that wee oversight, will you? and re-read that last sentence:

But does the United States deserve a descriptor drenched in the language of conscience and courage? It’s increasingly dubious.

I’m struggling to discover what she’s actually saying here, not because it isn’t clear, but because there’s a war inside me to reconcile my tiny crush on Irshad with the realisation that even from her mighty pen can come such mind-numbing stupid.  Is it increasingly dubious that the US isn’t a state of conscience and courage?  Just because Random House exercised its right in the free market to choose not to publish a book it didn’t want to publish? 

Come on, Sr. Irshad.  Surely you know better, mitha.   One might say the US isn’t a state of conscience and courage because it’s run by a bunch of chickenhawks who wage wars they’d never dare fight themselves, and who don’t have the moral courage to see the folly of the past couple of centuries of failed foreign policies that have, without exception, made the world as a whole a place far, far worse off and more dangerous than it would’ve been had the US never interfered.  That’s one thing, and although I don’t necessarily agree, it would strike me only as incorrect rather than incoherent.

this just in (last week): sr irshad says a dirty word!

In a post where she lays out how she’s come this far, Sr. Irshad implores us to Screw the Experts. Charming.  And what’s this about then?

A lot of you are asking for my take on this story: Random House New York has shelved plans to publish The Jewel of Medina, an historical novel about the Prophet Muhammad’s second and youngest wife, Aisha.

Really? Like who?

Rest assured

Whew! I can sleep again!

that I’m writing a commentary about it and will post the link as soon as it’s printed.

But here’s what I want you to know right away. Before deciding to pull the book, Random House consulted academic “experts.” As if they’re objective. Take it from me: so-called scholars can be petty, politicized and, above all, paranoid.

I know first-hand. PBS, broadcaster of Faith Without Fear, sent a rough cut of my film to “academic advisors.”

Eat my scare-quotes, Universities!

Seriously.  I know Sr. Irshad’s allergic to authority, at least anyone else’s authority but hers, but the lady’s lowbrow snipes at uppity book-learned folk with some scholarship under their belt who take her to task for thinking she knows everything gets a little tired.  Regardless, she’s getting quite adept at making everything a launching pad to explain how great she is:

Since then, Faith Without Fear has launched the Muslim Film Festival organized by the American Islamic Congress. It won Gold at the New York Television Festival. The film scored an Emmy nomination. It’s even been screened in Indonesia, the world’s largest Muslim country.

Applause!  You’ve come a long way, baby!

danny “crack” pipes: how muslims view b HUSSEIN o

In today’s Jerusalem Post, Daniel Pipes does his best to explain to us what the Muslim world thinks of Barack X Hussein al Obama–and, of course, the Jerusalem Post is exactly where you want to find incisive insight into the Muslim world, and who better to provide it than Daniel Pipes, champion of soft numbers and other stuff he pulls out of his ass.  Check it:

How do Muslims see Barack Obama? They have three choices: either as he presents himself, as one who has “never been a Muslim” and has “always been a Christian”; or as a fellow Muslim; or as an apostate from Islam.

That’s an awesome summary, but it seems to me there must, simply must, be a fourth choice: We Muslims view Barack Obama as the Presidential candidate least likely to kidnap us, send us to Gitmo, and rape us with a chemical light, as the Presidential candidate not so insane as to jump to war with Iran and Syria and murder further hundreds of thousands of our brothers and sisters in hopes of–what did we hope to achieve in Iraq again? well, whatever that was, but regrettably, as yet another Presidential candidate who will continue the Syriana policies of Ango American administrations since the turn of the last Century.

But let’s forgive that oversight.  Digging deeper, we find that ZOMG!!11! HUSSEIN X OBAMA IS A TRAITORous apostate infidel, and that the Muslims are going to get explodey should he become the next president:

BUT THIS excitement also has a dark side – suspicions that Obama is a traitor to his birth religion, an apostate (murtadd) from Islam. Al-Qaida has prominently featured Obama’s statement “I am not a Muslim” and one analyst, Shireen K. Burki of the University of Mary Washington, sees Obama as “bin Laden’s dream candidate.” Should he become US commander-in-chief, she believes, Al-Qaida would likely “exploit his background to argue that an apostate is leading the global war on terror… to galvanize sympathizers into action.”

Of course, the thought that Al Qaida might also exploit John McCain’s current profile as a greedy warmongering a**hole apparently doesn’t seem to rate mention.  Nor, indeed, does the Obama-is-Rushdie meme get much traction outside the neocon press, as Pipes himself notes:

Mainstream Muslims tend to tiptoe around this topic. An Egyptian supporter of Obama, Yasser Khalil, reports that many Muslims react “with bewilderment and curiosity” when Obama is described as a Muslim apostate; Josie Delap and Robert Lane Greene of the Economist even claim that the Obama-as-apostate theme “has been notably absent” among Arabic-language columnists and editorialists.

I guess it hasn’t occurred to Mr. Pipes that the claim is “notably absent” because most people in the Muslim world think it’s “incredibly stupid” and “really don’t care.” But, I’ll have to admit, I probably don’t have as firm a grasp on what Muslims want, hope, and believe as Daniel Pipes thinks he does.

islamophobia: what it is and how not to deal with it

So I went to a conference held at Masjid As-Salaam in Burnaby on Friday called Islamophobia: What It Is and How to Deal With It.  Speakers were Mohamed Elmasry of the Canadian Islamic Congress, Dereck O’Keefe of rabble.ca, and Khurram Awan, one of the legal team that took Macleans to the Canadian, Ontario, and BC Human Rights Commissions for Islamophobic publications.  And no big surprises.

One thing I did take out of it was a better understanding of why Br. Khurram did what he did.  I’m virtually convinced now that it was out of frustration–they couldn’t get Macleans to apologize or to admit wrongdoing, or to publish a rebuttal, so they took it to court.  I get it now.  But I agree with him even less now.

Look, I don’t want to come down too hard on my brothers.  I get where they’re coming from.  But if Macleans Magazine wants to degenerate itself into a reactionary Neocon bullet-point mag, let them, and let the market decide whether or not it wants to consume that kind of swill.  If the market is happy with that product, and–here’s the kicker–if the Muslim community and its friends can’t field a saleable alternative, the Government ain’t the solution.

I understand that the Canadian Islamic Congress doesn’t agree with that position, and they’ve got a lot of their political capital invested in a position precisely its opposite, so I don’t blame them for that.  But the way I see it, there are three potential social scenarios we’re facing here in Canada:

1. The people of Canada can’t stand us Muslims and are willing consumers of Macleans/CanWest neocon Islamophobia.
2. The people of Canada are relatively ambivalent about Muslims and consume Macleans/CanWest neocon Islamophobia because they don’t really care–but they don’t really buy it, either.
3. The people of Canada don’t really agree with Macleans/CanWest neocon Islamophobia and don’t really buy it, and what we’re really watching isn’t a series of potent strikes against Islam and Muslims, but rather the death-spasms of redundant media trying to shock-and-awe its way back into Canadian hearts and minds.

Whichever it is, litigation won’t help.  What will is ensuring Canadians at least have access to entertaining and informative commentary that offers a true (or at least truthy) picture of what Canadians’ Muslim neighbors believe and do.