time to move to the kootenays

My new BFF, Flaming Fat Cur, reached out and touched me in a poignant comment, electrifying me with scary words like pseudo-leftist and Cairo. Entranced, I couldn’t help but traverse the tubes and pop on in to see what’s what on the wingnutty side of the internets. And looky here, it’s an alarmist countdown to Armageddon called “How Is Our Civilization Headed For Defeat”! Oh brave keyboard soldier, can’t you semper fi enough strength and conviction to persist in the battle ‘gainst the swarthy hordes, slavering on our scimitars? Has it come down to this? The vast Western civilization brought to its knees, because Random House excercised its hideous freedom not to publish a book it didn’t want to publish?

I believe this person. There is no sense holding on for nothing–in mere weeks, nay minutes or even seconds, the pseudoleftislamocommiefascist LIEberals will break down our doors and with their scimitars held to our naked flesh will force us to eat halal hamburgers. It’s lost. Move to the Kootenays, fighting keyboardists! There, we’ll meet again, to grow long beards, obtain firearms, and wait out the coming Apocaplyse. And, of course, to continue the fight underground, our laptops as our swords, our mustard-stained Stanfield vests our armour. Semper fi, fighting keyboardists, and Godspeed!

bonus irshad

So I’m getting my weekly Irshad Manji fix, hoping against hope that her latest post will contain at least some insight into the latest FAILgate, The Jewel of Medina’s failure to get to print. And I’m not disappointed:

I promised you the link to my commentary about the novel that Random House New York has cancelled out of sheer fear.

SHEER FEAR!! It’s like, Random House started to print the book, and then everyone crapped their pants and were all “OMG!!11! ALL THE MOOOZLIMS GONNA GO ‘SPLODEY UP IN HERE!”

I digress. Through the magic of the interwebs, a single click and we’re immersed in Irshad’s alternate universe:

In this season of political conventions, Americans are beginning to focus on who should lead the “land of the free and home of the brave.” But does the United States deserve a descriptor drenched in the language of conscience and courage? It’s increasingly dubious.

I want to be honest with you.  I feed a certain degree of affection for Sr. Irshad–it’s true.  I admit a part of me even has a platonic crush on her, although the Almighty knows I ain’t her type.  Nothing haram, mind you, just a general appreciation for what I know is a sharp mind that has massive capabilities and untapped potential.  And it’s with that in mind that I need to say, very clearly now, that that is without a doubt the dumbest paragraph I’ve ever seen her write.  And that’s saying something.

Let’s forget for a second the rest of the article, wherein she seems to forget what would seem to be a pretty important fact–that negative reviews of The Jewel of Medina also focussed on its gross historical inaccuracies and shoddy scholarship, especially given its claim that it is “extensively researched.”  Forgive my lady that wee oversight, will you? and re-read that last sentence:

But does the United States deserve a descriptor drenched in the language of conscience and courage? It’s increasingly dubious.

I’m struggling to discover what she’s actually saying here, not because it isn’t clear, but because there’s a war inside me to reconcile my tiny crush on Irshad with the realisation that even from her mighty pen can come such mind-numbing stupid.  Is it increasingly dubious that the US isn’t a state of conscience and courage?  Just because Random House exercised its right in the free market to choose not to publish a book it didn’t want to publish? 

Come on, Sr. Irshad.  Surely you know better, mitha.   One might say the US isn’t a state of conscience and courage because it’s run by a bunch of chickenhawks who wage wars they’d never dare fight themselves, and who don’t have the moral courage to see the folly of the past couple of centuries of failed foreign policies that have, without exception, made the world as a whole a place far, far worse off and more dangerous than it would’ve been had the US never interfered.  That’s one thing, and although I don’t necessarily agree, it would strike me only as incorrect rather than incoherent.

this just in (last week): sr irshad says a dirty word!

In a post where she lays out how she’s come this far, Sr. Irshad implores us to Screw the Experts. Charming.  And what’s this about then?

A lot of you are asking for my take on this story: Random House New York has shelved plans to publish The Jewel of Medina, an historical novel about the Prophet Muhammad’s second and youngest wife, Aisha.

Really? Like who?

Rest assured

Whew! I can sleep again!

that I’m writing a commentary about it and will post the link as soon as it’s printed.

But here’s what I want you to know right away. Before deciding to pull the book, Random House consulted academic “experts.” As if they’re objective. Take it from me: so-called scholars can be petty, politicized and, above all, paranoid.

I know first-hand. PBS, broadcaster of Faith Without Fear, sent a rough cut of my film to “academic advisors.”

Eat my scare-quotes, Universities!

Seriously.  I know Sr. Irshad’s allergic to authority, at least anyone else’s authority but hers, but the lady’s lowbrow snipes at uppity book-learned folk with some scholarship under their belt who take her to task for thinking she knows everything gets a little tired.  Regardless, she’s getting quite adept at making everything a launching pad to explain how great she is:

Since then, Faith Without Fear has launched the Muslim Film Festival organized by the American Islamic Congress. It won Gold at the New York Television Festival. The film scored an Emmy nomination. It’s even been screened in Indonesia, the world’s largest Muslim country.

Applause!  You’ve come a long way, baby!